Failing Forward

I used to have what I thought were great days at the gym... days I would hit heavy lifts with ease and destroy my workouts. I took pride at being at the top of the leader board and if I wasn't, I was disappointed in my performance. Failing to "win" led to a shitty day accompanied by a shitty attitude until I could get after it again.


Luckily, I stopped being a douche. Eventually I realized I'm not the best, nor will I ever be. But that doesn't mean I can't be MY best, and as long as I was giving it the best I could, I could live with whatever place I received. In the words of a wise man, "Some days you're a workhorse, some days you're a racehorse, and some days you get sent to the glue factory... it's all part of the process."


Today I caught a glimpse of my old self.


A younger kid at my gym named Adam struggled through every workout we had today. He ran slow, he kept taking breathers, he even tried to quit. If not for his coaches and fellow members, I'm pretty convinced he would have walked straight out of the gym to his car and drove home. It hurt to watch because I remember being in his shoes as a kid. When I was younger I was overweight. Not obese by any standards and nobody thought I was a fat kid, but I definitely wasn't in shape. I had asthma growing up and remember getting down on myself at times because I simply couldn't keep up with the other kids.


I convinced myself that I was stuck with what I had, that I was an out of shape kid who had a medical problem. That led to me dogging it on runs, which eventually led to me skipping out on runs all together. What I failed to realize was that wasn't who I was, that was simply my present state. I used my medical condition as a crutch, in turn allowing me to think my weight problem was a perfectly acceptable bi-product.


We tend to shy away from personal responsibility not only because we must face the demons that lie ahead of us but because we also catch a glimpse of our potential... which tends to scare the living shit out of us. Adam could be faster, more lean, more muscular... but the real question is, is he willing to put in the work to achieve those results? That question can be applied to all of us, even those we tend to idolize. The road to glory scares us because we know it's lined with bumps, twists and turns and often has no clear line of sight to the finish. That's right, even those we hold on pedestals are still discovering their potential.


Work ethic outweighs far more than we realize. Genetics will always play a large factor, no doubt... but burying your head and driving forward is what separates the men from the boys.


The mountain of success is steep, stormy and intimidating... but it can be summited. There will be doubters along the way who will attack you from all angles. They will say you're working yourself to death, they'll say you need a social life. They'll offer you cookies and complain that it's "just one" when you refuse to budge.


Your goals may seem confusing to others, sometimes they will think they're silly, but more often than not they will become jealous of your drive. We've become a generation of individuals who lack dedication and the sight of someone honed in on a goal is intimidating to most. Your only safety net is to surround yourself with like-minded climbers... people who understand your desires, people who are dedicated to helping you succeed.


There were days I'd wake up at 5am before school to run sprints and mile repeats. There were nights I'd have my legs lined with ice packs taped to my legs. There were times I'd skip friends' birthday celebrations because I couldn't afford to break away from my diet. But there were also days I hit numbers I'd been chasing for years, nights I watched people keep working past the cut-off time because they wanted to finish, times I watched people shut off their mental-midgetness and be fucking awesome.


Many of my goals still seem far away, but I know I'm on the right path. And even when I think I'm close, I'll remember the road has only just begun. I have faith in Adam, there's no way I'd be doing what he is when I was in his place. And honestly, I look forward to seeing him struggle more, because I know how strong he's become... and I know he'll come back for more.