To feel my lungs burning as if a match was tossed down a kerosene filled well, my legs and arms on fire as if a blanket of lactic acid had enveloped me whole. Because I live for that moment that comes every single time when you find yourself blankly staring off into the middle of nowhere, questioning why you're even there.
Your grip is shot, your stomach churning, prepared to release bile if you just give the thumbs up. Time and the weights may be the only thing working harder against you than your own body. Perhaps you want to cry or just lay down and give up. Nobody could stop you if you did, they're not your mother... you do this voluntarily. You've already sweat a bit and are sore, end early, short your reps and go home to relax. Grab a beer, maybe some pizza and reward yourself for the hard work you just put in. Or don't...
Maybe you pick up the bar again, maybe you grit your teeth and shut off the demons in your head telling you that you aren't good enough and never will be. Maybe you start to realize that through pain of various kinds, we learn various ways to better ourselves. Maybe you start to realize that your limits are far beyond what you think you are capable of... maybe you can do considerably more.
You look up and see a 60 year old man who comes here everyday because he wants to do everything he can to extend his life so he can watch his grandchildren grow. You see a single mom who has such a busy schedule that she has to cut her sleep a couple of hours short each night so that she can workout at 5:30 in the morning, lest she not be able to workout at all.
You see the girl who was told she'd never be able to physically accomplish something because of an injury proving her doubters wrong every single day. You see your coaches busting their ass right along side you, going through the same pain and pushing you the entire way.
The community drives you to keep going and you realize when so many are for you, nobody can be against you. There may be people who try to stand in your way, who doubt your goals or belittle your accomplishments, but then you remember all those people who do believe.
You do it because seeing those who support you accomplish their goals make YOU a better person. Seeing a soccer mom do a happy dance because she dead lifted hundreds of pounds which she never in a million years would have thought she could do. Seeing how much pride someone takes in a photo comparison to 3 months ago when they decided to change their diet and exercise routine in order to become a healthier, happier individual.
All of a sudden, your accomplishments don't mean so much... but knowing you could be apart of someone else's journey begins to mean the world to you. Then you see how proud people are of you, and how much pride they take in YOUR accomplishments, and you realize you owe it to them to do your best every single moment in life. Your parents, your kids, your husbands, wives and significant others. Hell, even people half a world a way that have never even met you. All those who sacrificed for you along the way, who saw you as a source of inspiration at some point in their lives... those are the ones you owe it all to.
They are why you treat your body right, nourishing it with quality food, sleep and hydration. They are why you show up every day and bust your ass. Because they have given up so much in order to help you become to the best individual you could be. Because no matter how hard you work in the gym, THEY are the ones who have put in the hardest work. They're why you compete each and every day. Not always for money, trophies and fame... but for gratitude. To show them that you are thankful for the trust, to show them you appreciate everything they've done for you.
I go because my mother and sister mean the world to me and making them happy is my main focus in life. I go because I know where I started is not where I have to end up in life. I go because I want people to hear my name and not just think, but truly feel I am a good man. I go because I want to spend myself every day... mentally, emotionally and physically. I go because no matter when my time here on Earth is through and my life flashes before my eyes, I refuse to have any regrets.
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