Suffer In Silence

When I was younger I injured my shoulder playing baseball. Before the setback I was playing on four different teams at the same time, I was pretty good and was trying to get my name better known in the area before my first high school season started. I was on second base during a big game in a travel tournament in Wisconsin when I took a Jackie Robinson-esque lead that was big enough to make the pitcher decide to attempt to pick me off. Unfortunately, neither of his middle infielders covered the bag and the ball nailed me in the arm instead of a glove.

I finished the game (first bonehead move) before heading to the doctor the next day. "You need to rehab this once a day for the next 3 months." Unfortunately, I was young, and dumb and stubborn... qualities that can be a blessing one day and a curse the next. So I thanked her, stuck the paperwork in my backpack and headed to practice, albeit I was 10 minutes late.

I still feel the consequences of my decision to this day, some of which I am oddly enough thankful for. Because of my grit at such a young age, I got called up to varsity by the time playoffs rolled around my freshman year. Because of my dumb decision, I was ready to cry like a schoolgirl during some of my workouts this past week. And because of my stubbornness, I am a far better athlete today than I ever could have imagined.

Pullups, toes to bar, handstands, it all sucks. Weighing in at over 200 pounds, seeing anything on the whiteboard that involves gymnastics movements or shoulder blasting exercises puts me in a "I just got dumped at prom" depression. Big men like myself shouldn't be doing cardio or gymnastics of any form, lest you want to see a grown man cry... but I do them every day anyways.

BLUE, YOU'RE MY BOY!

One of the greatest lessons I learned in recent years was to "suffer in silence", an idea first introduced to me while I was participating in my first Goruck challenge, an endurance event ran by former military special operations instructors. 13 hours and almost 23 miles later, I had gotten pushed passed my limits both mentally and physically. The physical wounds were evident, broken metatarsal bones in both of my feet, terrible shin splints and chaffing out the wazoo near my yohoo.

And although when I woke up most people would think I was relieved it was all finally done, all I felt was anger. Because although I was in pain there were plenty of people in my class in far worst condition than I... and they didn't bitch during it. Instead of making excuses, instead of taking the easy way out, instead of side stepping opportunity for growth, they put their heads down and trudged forward. I felt as though I had failed my team and I decided from that day forward to find some testicular fortitude and learn how to harden the fuck up.

No matter your exercise regiment, you will ultimately have to do things you dislike and some stuff you absolutely hate if you ever expect to get better. Whether it be tough workouts, sticking to a nutrition plan, no free time on weekends due to your competition schedule, whatever. Nobody ever said achieving your idea of peak physical fitness would be fun or easy. And although many people claim to be dedicated to this life, few truly are.

Less time whining, more time nailing the prom queen

Being dedicated means waking up early to put in that extra work before the sun comes up. It means closing down the gym even though you just got off of a long, hard day at work. It means ordering a salad when you meet up with your friends who are all scuffing down burgers & fries. It means going to bed early on a Friday night instead of raging at the bars till the early morning hours.

Being dedicated means doing those movements you suck at, on a consistent basis, even if you feel like the laughing stock of the gym. It means showing up even when you know ahead of time the planned workout isn't what you want to do. Being dedicated means staying humble, knowing that you can't play with the big boy weights until your body is conditioned to handle them... no matter how big of a Sally that makes you feel like. Being dedicated means you're willing to go up against the best and get absolutely crushed, only to come back again the next day ready for round two.

The dedicated are those willing to endure not only the physical pain, but the psychological as well. The vast majority of individuals (myself included) suffer from lingering cases of mental dwarfism... we let our minds quit far before our bodies are ready to shut down. And that's natural, that's our body's way of telling us we're coming close to the breaking point. However, it's not until we're broken that we can build ourselves better.

Henry Rollins once said, "Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on." I hold that statement dear to my heart. Workouts (and life in general) become much easier when you realize the strength your setbacks have given you. Whether it be a nagging shoulder injury, a bad workout, losing a job or going through a bad breakup... whatever happened has happened. You can continue to sulk and feel sorry for yourself, or you can find the testicular/ovarian fortitude to get over it and go get shit done.

Leave the cream at home... nut up and shut up

Tomorrow's a new day, another chance to turn it all around... IF you're lucky enough to get it. So when you wake up in the morning, seize the fucking day... really seize it. Every day is an opportunity to be better than yesterday, or worse... the choice is yours. Quitting workouts early, counting reps that shouldn't be counted, having cheat meals, they do nothing but halt your progress. The effects may not be immediately visible, but the shortcuts will eat at your sinew.

So the next time you hit a wall, realize you have a choice. You can stop, cry and ask for someone to come coddle you till your boo-boo feels better... OR you can punch and kick the wall till the fucker eventually falls down. I know what choice I've learned to make... what's yours?

What Is Love, Besides a Haddaway Song?

While recovering from my first ever wedding last night I've come to a few realizations about love. It just so happens that today is Sweetest Day... so here's a few friendly reminders for my single friends (and maybe those that are taken, too) about what love should be.


1: Tunnel Vision


Have it. One of my all time favorite movies is Big Fish. It's about a traveling salesman who falls ill and is confined to his deathbed. He has a gift for storytelling and decides to make an attempt at mending his relationship with his estranged son. My favorite scene of the entire movie is when the father recalls the night he fell in love.

Time stopped. Amid the chaos and commotion of the circus he was at, he saw nothing but the girl of his dreams. He didn't see the trapeze artists flying through the air, nor the giant elephant that could have crushed him with a simple step. He didn't even pay any mind to all the other pretty girls along the way... all he saw was her.

"Now I may not have much, but I have more determination than any man you're ever likely to meet."

That's how love should be... where nothing else even matters. When you can be in a room full of hot girls but only find one beautiful. Where temptation doesn't even exist because you already have perfection.


2: Trust


If you don't have it, you'll never get anywhere. If you can't let someone into your life, how can you truly love and appreciate them? It's scary, without a doubt. But monitoring someone instead of giving them freedom is the easiest way to create jealousy and unnecessary drama. If your girl wants to check your text messages, something's wrong. If you have a passcode on your phone just so that your girlfriend can't check your text messages, something's wrong.

Have a little faith. Actually, have a lot of faith. I've been on the bad side of things... dating a girl for what seemed like forever, being completely open, honest and giving, and then having her decide she was through with me out of the blue. It was hard to deal with, but later that day I realized it really wasn't my fault... and I was... happy?

Although it is extremely peculiar, the music video for Gnarls Barkley's "Who's Gonna Save My Soul" is wonderful.

Although I gave my heart to someone only to feel like they crushed it, I kept my heart on my sleeve the entire time. To know someone doesn't want you, all of you, the TRUE you is something that is easier to live with then we realize... to not give yourself completely, to half ass love has to be the worst feeling ever. That is something we should strive for. To not be scared of love or being completely vulnerable, but in never having our vulnerability challenged. In the words of Tennyson, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."


3: Enhancements


This one is pretty simple, yet 99.9% of people manage to fuck it up on a consistent basis... be happy with yourself before you try and be happy with someone else.

We live in a world where people are emotional wrecks constantly complaining about being "forever alone" or how all guys/girls are the same. Yet for some reason they get the bright idea that being with someone will make everything in their life better. If you're not happy on your own, don't ever think you'll have a successful relationship with another person. A significant other shouldn't be part of you, they should be an enhancement.


4: Spend Yourself


Ever purchase a steak from a restaurant and forget it's in your fridge for a couple of weeks? You open up the container and it looks like a bad Petri dish experiment some high school kid forgot about in his chemistry class. However, you find a cheeseburger you purchased 6 months ago from McDonald's that your buddy dropped between your seats and was too big of a douche to clean up and it looks the exact same as the day you bought it.

The difference between the two? Nothing real lasts forever. When you don't pump something full of artificial bullshit, it's gonna have an expiration date. If you want to eat healthy you stick to the outside perimeters of the grocery store where all of the fresh food is located. When you want something that doesn't expire for 3 years after it's opened and could survive a Chernobyl disaster, you walk down the aisles and purchase artificial food.

There was steak at the wedding last night... it was delicious.

Although we preach that love is eternal, eventually we're all going to die. To add salt to the wound, we can die at any moment... whether it's ten minutes from now in a freak accident or in fifty years from old age. Yet so often couples walk around disgruntled, rarely showing affection or appreciation for each other.

ARE YOU NUTS?! Your love can literally keel over at any moment... wouldn't you want to make the most out of every moment available? There will no doubt be bad times and arguments, but when you don't have a single second on Earth guaranteed, shouldn't we strive to enjoy every moment we have granted to us?

Don't leave anything left over... don't stick things in the back of the fridge and forget about them... enjoy it while it's here because even the real things aren't gonna last forever.